mindy kaling revealing exactly what i do everyday.
also my new motto: Rock this like a Kardashian sister.
I was on the fence about keeping my newest bikini, b/c the bottoms are teeny tiny, which is really saying something for a person with a teeny tiny tushie who always wears the teeniest, tiniest of bottoms. My sister was of the opinion I should send them back because they suggested J.Lo, or Kim Kardashian. I did not send them back. I rocked them like a Kardashian sister. And then I suffered severe sunburn on the sections of my butt that are usually covered with slightly bigger bottoms. I rocked those too.
I spent last week on vacation with my family, and despite the fact that I was with my family, I was not ready for it to end.
Things I Did on Vacation…
- Read. A lot. 5 books in 5 days. Plus two more halves in two more days (halves of two different books due to a beach bag mix-up!)
- Ate. A lot. Of ice cream, mostly (including the flavors: Better Than Sex, Lavendar, Chocolate Covered Bacon, Milk Chocolate Jack Daniels, Lucky Charm, and Booger). We’re a dessert family. But not just ice cream. We’re a food family, in general.
- Did crunches. See above.
- Walked to get iced coffee every single morning.
- Jumped in the ocean, at least for a quick second, every day (except the rainy ones)
- Napped. A lot.
- Abstained from booze for the most part. The whole family part of the vacation means drinking was frowned upon (except, interestingly enough, at the extended family BBQ, where I got good & tipsy off some tasty pinot grigio)
- Stood outside my favorite beach concert venue w/ my parents and underage sister (hence the standing outside part) to see one of my favorite singer-songwriters (saved me $25 too!)
- Stayed up late. Every night.
- Watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the first time (I know, right???)
- Watched lots of NCIS & assorted other cop shows, pretty much round the clock, b/c that’s what the parentals do
- Saw a couple get engaged (ok, I didn’t actually seeee the proposal, but I heard the squealing & the constant looking at the ring hand & the separately calling everyone they knew while sitting on the beach and chasing after their adorable puppy. Close enough)
- Gave lots of people death stares for being obnoxious and/or generally stupid and incompetent at life
- Laughed. A lot. Both at and with my family
- Dug my toes in the sand, soaked up the sun, lathered up with sunscreen, and loved my life for a change
I’m on vacation (on my computer, checking work email, at 1 a.m.) and I just responded to an email from someone who graciously agreed to serve as a reference for me…..and I send the email, with a typo (“sent” instead of “send”).
In the scheme of the world and the universe and birds covered in oil in the Gulf and children homeless and starving, a “t” instead of a “d” is nowhere near the end of the world. This WILL NOT make a difference this time next year (a good measuring stick if you’re like me and definitely sweat the so-called small stuff). But for someone who writes and edits as part of their job, it’s frustrating and embarrassing and something to lose precious vacation sleep over.
I mean, it’s not a HUGE deal. It’s not like I accidentally typed the wrong letter in a proposal or report or resume. There’s a good chance the email will be skimmed over quickly and the reader won’t really notice.
But dammit! “D” and “T” aren’t even next to each other on the keyboard!
Guess this is what I get for checking work email on vacay.
a cute boy. aged 24-34 years. southern or southern adjacent or southern familiar. long shaggy hair encouraged. short hair + curls = ok as well. dark hair preferred. beards optional (but yes please). tall. very. thin or athletic but should weigh more than me. no earrings or other piercings. prefer: employed + lives alone. must be able to: dress dapper, drive a stick shift, shoot a gun and fix my electronics. must drink alcohol but not smoke. should own: a tux. likes: old people (elderly), wearing button downs, scrabble + crossword puzzles, bad reality tv (or will tolerate my watching it), my blog, being less funny than me. must: think i’m adorable. must tolerate: the twilight thing, the porn blog, my particular brand of crazy (keeps it interesting!). must not: tell me what to do, be married.
not asking too much? inquire within.
Please forward all surplus inquiries my way. Thanks.