July 2010
“Sometimes when I’m going out and wearing something that’s a little bit tight and risqué, I actually think to myself, ‘Okay, just rock this like a Kardashian sister,’ and it totally works. I look at myself and say, ‘Khloe Kardashian would wear this sprayed-on dress!’ and it gives me the confidence to go out and do it. It’s embarrassing but true.”
—
mindy kaling revealing exactly what i do everyday.
also my new motto: Rock this like a Kardashian sister.
(via folkinz) (via allthingsalishan)
I was on the fence about keeping my newest bikini, b/c the bottoms are teeny tiny, which is really saying something for a person with a teeny tiny tushie who always wears the teeniest, tiniest of bottoms. My sister was of the opinion I should send them back because they suggested J.Lo, or Kim Kardashian. I did not send them back. I rocked them like a Kardashian sister. And then I suffered severe sunburn on the sections of my butt that are usually covered with slightly bigger bottoms. I rocked those too.
Back to Work....
BOO!
I spent last week on vacation with my family, and despite the fact that I was with my family, I was not ready for it to end.
Things I Did on Vacation…
- Read. A lot. 5 books in 5 days. Plus two more halves in two more days (halves of two different books due to a beach bag mix-up!)
- Ate. A lot. Of ice cream, mostly (including the flavors: Better Than Sex, Lavendar, Chocolate Covered Bacon, Milk Chocolate Jack Daniels, Lucky Charm, and Booger). We’re a dessert family. But not just ice cream. We’re a food family, in general.
- Did crunches. See above.
- Walked to get iced coffee every single morning.
- Jumped in the ocean, at least for a quick second, every day (except the rainy ones)
- Napped. A lot.
- Abstained from booze for the most part. The whole family part of the vacation means drinking was frowned upon (except, interestingly enough, at the extended family BBQ, where I got good & tipsy off some tasty pinot grigio)
- Stood outside my favorite beach concert venue w/ my parents and underage sister (hence the standing outside part) to see one of my favorite singer-songwriters (saved me $25 too!)
- Stayed up late. Every night.
- Watched Ferris Bueller’s Day Off for the first time (I know, right???)
- Watched lots of NCIS & assorted other cop shows, pretty much round the clock, b/c that’s what the parentals do
- Saw a couple get engaged (ok, I didn’t actually seeee the proposal, but I heard the squealing & the constant looking at the ring hand & the separately calling everyone they knew while sitting on the beach and chasing after their adorable puppy. Close enough)
- Gave lots of people death stares for being obnoxious and/or generally stupid and incompetent at life
- Laughed. A lot. Both at and with my family
- Dug my toes in the sand, soaked up the sun, lathered up with sunscreen, and loved my life for a change
Bad Move
I’m on vacation (on my computer, checking work email, at 1 a.m.) and I just responded to an email from someone who graciously agreed to serve as a reference for me…..and I send the email, with a typo (“sent” instead of “send”).
In the scheme of the world and the universe and birds covered in oil in the Gulf and children homeless and starving, a “t” instead of a “d” is nowhere near the end of the world. This WILL NOT make a difference this time next year (a good measuring stick if you’re like me and definitely sweat the so-called small stuff). But for someone who writes and edits as part of their job, it’s frustrating and embarrassing and something to lose precious vacation sleep over.
I mean, it’s not a HUGE deal. It’s not like I accidentally typed the wrong letter in a proposal or report or resume. There’s a good chance the email will be skimmed over quickly and the reader won’t really notice.
But dammit! “D” and “T” aren’t even next to each other on the keyboard!
Guess this is what I get for checking work email on vacay.
craving.
a cute boy. aged 24-34 years. southern or southern adjacent or southern familiar. long shaggy hair encouraged. short hair + curls = ok as well. dark hair preferred. beards optional (but yes please). tall. very. thin or athletic but should weigh more than me. no earrings or other piercings. prefer: employed + lives alone. must be able to: dress dapper, drive a stick shift, shoot a gun and fix my electronics. must drink alcohol but not smoke. should own: a tux. likes: old people (elderly), wearing button downs, scrabble + crossword puzzles, bad reality tv (or will tolerate my watching it), my blog, being less funny than me. must: think i’m adorable. must tolerate: the twilight thing, the porn blog, my particular brand of crazy (keeps it interesting!). must not: tell me what to do, be married.
not asking too much? inquire within.
Please forward all surplus inquiries my way. Thanks.
24 things single women wish we could tell men →
glamour.com
my favorites:
- booty texts: weak.
- taking us for granted is probably the worst thing you could do after cheating and lying.
- high heels really hurt.
- if you don’t like that we’re this way, take it up with our parents.
from single-ish
21. If a girl has pretty eyes, she has probably heard men tell her that five thousand times. It’s fine to repeat the compliment, but you’ll make a much bigger impression if you find something else to compliment.
I get the “pretty eyes” thing a lot. At first, I thought it was awesome, like I had these exquisite beautiful eyes that stood out. Now, I feel like it’s the default thing guys say. Really y’all, “You have pretty eyes” is not the secret password. Especially if we’re in a dark bar and you couldn’t see my eyes even if you could still see straight.
Exception: The dude who told me - in a dark bar, at least somewhat under the influence of alcohol - that I had pretty eyes, then went on to elaborate that it wasn’t really the color, but the shape, because it made them look warm and friendly. I still wasn’t into him, but that’s the way to give a compliment that actually sounds like you mean it.
“Turn on the television. We have a wedding channel on cable TV devoted to the behavior of people on the way to the altar. They spend billions of dollars, behave in the most appalling way, all in an effort to be princess for a day. You don’t have cable television? Put on network TV. We’re giving away husbands on a game show. You can watch The Bachelor, where thirty desperate women will compete to marry a 40-year-old man who has never been able to maintain a decent relationship in his life. That’s what we’ve done to marriage in America, where young women are socialized from the time they’re five years old to think of being nothing but a bride. They plan every day what they’ll wear, how they’ll look, the invitations, the whole bit, they don’t spend five minutes thinking about what it means to be a wife. People stand up there before god and man even in Senator Diaz’s church, they swear to love honor and obey, they don’t mean a word of it. So if there’s anything wrong with the sanctity of marriage in America, it comes from those of us who have the privilege and the right and have abused it for decades.”
—Diane Savino, NY State Senator (via gayformarriage) (via tennroof) (via apsies) (via meredithbklyn) (via allthingsalishan)
Haven't Met You Yet
Michael Bublé
Michael Bublé - Haven’t Met You Yet
To make everyone’s Tuesday a little better
