Thrown with Great Force
I really really really really really passionately hate where I live - town, apt, living situation in general. HATE HATE HATE.
I was out and about every single evening last week, got only a few hours of sleep a night, but I was happy doing things. I’ve been in my apartment for about 20 hours straight now, and I’m ready to fling myself out the effing window.
I also hate the forecast for the next few days. If the forecast was a tangible thing, I would’ve punched it in the face awhile ago.
The 2nd to last paragraph is really all you need to know.
It’s just a shame. He might be really sorry and mean it but the truth is that abusive men are sorry for what they do. They have a problem and these two fools are setting a terrible example to young teen girls and boys. She is young and should have moved on with on with her life. Is it just for publicity? Maybe. She should show she is a strong young woman who doesn’t need a man but no, that’s not what she and her people want.
Growing up Catholic, Fridays meant fried fish for dinner - NOT my favorite.
In elementary school, my mom didn’t work on Fridays, so she’d pick me up from school and we’d go to my grandma’s house. Often, assorted aunts, uncles and cousins would also come by. I’d do homework and watch old movies while the grownups socialized and cooked dinner: usually fried fish (flounder or orange roughy) and mac & cheese (always from scratch).
I complained so much about the “no meat on Fridays during Lent,” but my mom had no sympathy since, when she was growing up, Catholics weren’t supposed to have meat on Fridays ever. Still, I never sneaked any - my dad, who wasn’t Catholic, and my Catholic guilt kept me in line. I never even slipped up accidentally until my senior year of high school when I was in Orlando on a school trip and I gobbled down a hot dog, not even realizing it was Friday. (I’m pretty sure it was the first thing I told my mom when I called her that evening.)
I’ve turned in to quite the Christmas and Easter churchgoer, but I doubt I’ll ever be able to eat meat on Fridays during Lent with a clear conscience. Not that it’ll be hard - I realized today that I don’t even own any meat except what’s in the two Lean Cuisines in my freezer; the rest of my food supply is all fish, tofu, hummus and eggs. And I don’t even know what I’m going to have for dinner tonight (maybe nothing since I just dug into that ice cream again) because there are so many options.
One of the things I think I hated most about not being able to eat meat, besides the fact that it was a much larger part of my diet back then, was the lack of variety in Friday meals (esp since I didn’t eat peanut butter and jelly growing up). Tonight? I wanted an egg roll, but I just had pretzels w/ hummus, and I’m looking at vegetarian chili, or grilled cheese, or fish and veggies, or a veggie omelet. Yummmm.
(via snickerdoodle)
It is 4:30 on a Friday. Stop trying to keep your eyes open and make plans to get a martini.
Much better idea than planning to track down a Diet Coke to keep me from going to sleep before 6 p.m. on a Friday. Staying awake for a post-work Happy Weekend cocktail!
Damn my ridiculous work ethic/inspiration that makes me super super productive when it’s almost time to go and I’ll have to stay late - on a freakin Friday - if I want to finish while I’m in a groove. (Hello, groove, where the hell were you earlier? And yesterday??)
Damn my tired eyes that are about to close.
Damn the caffeine for wearing off right when I was starting to be fabulously functional.
Best 30 seconds of the week….
DAVE NEAL
“What They Want Us to Think: BUT WHERE IS JUSTIN BOBBY?
What’s Really Going to Happen: Just because you can’t see him doesn’t mean he’s not there. Justin Bobby is like a cockroach: The Hills could be hit with a nuclear bomb and he would crawl out of the rubble just in time to tell Audrina something that sounds really deep but is actually meaningless, and then convince her to take off her top. Expect him to saunter in by the third or fourth episode, possibly wearing a fedora, likely without having washed his hair, and definitely getting to third base before she dumps him in favor of an open-ended finale that could yield a spinoff. God help us all.”
I kind of feel like I just got more enjoyment out of this assessment than I will from the entire season that I probably forget to watch anyway.
I decided to walk home for lunch today b/c it’s February but 60ish and not raining and I didn’t feel like moving my car and having to search for another spot. Plus, movement is good. On the way back to the office, I saw three guys, landscapers?, standing outside their truck, watching me walk towards them, leering basically. I was made more uncomfortable by the wind that was blowing my (zebra print) trench open, exposing a very short skirt that was also being blown upwards by the breeze.
I had to walk right past them, and I was waiting to hear what probably inappropriate comments they made. I wondered what would happen if I told them to shut up and then asked how they’d feel if someone acted in that manner towards their wife, or their daughter.
Getting closer, giving them a pretty cold hard stare behind my “hater-blocker” sunglasses, and the one closest to me says, in a very friendly, non-threatening, non-skeevy tone, “How you doin’ today?”
I was a little surprised but his tone made me feel comfortable, not like I was in danger of being groped as I passed, so I politely - not bitchily - said “Good, how’re you?” while still walking at a decent pace.
I’d just passed them when he said, “You’re the cutest little thing I’ve seen all day!”
Totally elicited a giggle and got me to turn around, smile, and say thanks.
And that, guys, is how you can get away with checking out women on the street, even making comments about them, without making every skirt that walks by want to stab you in the balls with her stilettos.
The last day in the Averaging 5 Hours/Night stretch is NOT a good day for my coffeemaker to stop working. NOT good. Guess it was tired too. Also, I ran out of tp this morning. Oops.
Bobby Martinez
Action Sports Report: Bobby Martinez begins the 2009 tour his own way. - ESPN The Magazine
“Dolce & Gabbana reportedly dressed the wedding party, with Bundchen wearing a gown from the design house and her three dogs wearing matching lace collars.”
Mental image of English bulldogs w/ some enormous Queen Elizabeth collars going on. Vom.
Two words: DAVE NEAL
I had $10,000, and no school. Right now.
I have my reasons.
I wish I had all that, an English degree and a plane ticket.
and another 0000000000000000’s behind that
annnnnd a hot down to earth man
All of the above!
“In 20 seasons, he has crouched and screeched Maryland to a record 414 victories, 66 more than runner-up Driesell. He has snatched one national title, his teams have made 15 NCAA tournament appearances, and his 621 wins at American, Boston College, Ohio State and Maryland rank him sixth among active Division I coaches.”
I caught part of Gary Williams’ radio show last night in the car, and I didn’t hear the caller’s question, but the first thing Gary said was, “You really know the game.”
All I could think about was how frickin awesome it must be for that guy to hear that from Gary. I mean, I was excited about it and I didn’t even hear the guy’s question.
I just needed you to do everything you can to prove you’re a better man than my friends say you are.
Also, why, when I find someone who looks good on paper (and in real life duh), am I always one (date) and done? Good time, bad time, fun time, doesn’t matter. I make excuses not to get involved. It doesn’t really bother me, I just wanna know why.
Mitch Hedberg
Four hours of sleep is catching up to me. And I literally have miles to go before I sleep. Sister needs a nap. And a latte.
ETA: Srsly I just choked on water b/c I’m apparently so keyed up that normal functions are disrupted. Except, apparently, blogging.
I stress about a lot of (trivial) stuff, to the point that it’s caused chronic health problems and to the point where making big decisions about things can lead me down the road to a panic attack (oh, who am I kidding? Even little decisions can send me into a tailspin b/c I simply can’t handle them.) I’ve been told I think too much, or I worry too much, and that is ENTIRELY accurate. I worry so much about things not working out that I don’t enjoy them when they do because I’m always waiting for them to fall apart.
This has nothing to do with religion, but I’m giving up ice cream for Lent. Because I bought a carton of it on Sunday night, it’s almost gone, and I have yet to actually sit down with a bowl of ice cream. Binge eating from the carton is unhealthy and never fails to make me feel so sick and regret it before I even put the spoon down (and sometimes, I just keep shovelling it in.) Lent is just my guideline for giving it up, because just saying “This NEEDS TO STOP” straight up doesn’t work. Been there, tried that. So now, no ice cream. “For Lent.” (And hopefully beyond.)
Also, I know some people get fired up about those who do or don’t observe consistent religious practices, but I just heard this week that it takes 3 weeks to establish new habits, so Lent is actually a good window of time for people looking to change their behavior patterns. If you can make it through Lent, you’re pretty much set, so just stick with it!
Did you go to church and get ashed today? Are you planning on it?
DOUBT IT
Don’t forget to ask if they are eating meat too?
Even though I was raised Catholic and we had to get ashes and not eat meat on Fridays, giving something up was not something that was emphasized in our house. (Not that we’re super-Catholic or anything.) I’m planning on cutting down my spending for Lent, like full-on spending freeze, but that was something that I’d been planning on doing since January and I just haven’t made it happen yet. Anyway, I wasn’t going to get ashes or anything, but I still am in the habit of not eating meat on Fridays, not that it’s a big deal because I love tofu and fish just as much, probably more. Last Friday, I was careful to make a meat-free lunch, then went to my parents for the evening and when my mom offered me chicken, I declined because my weeks were totally screwed up. Today, I made myself another delicious turkey, hummus, lettuce and cheese wrap, took a BIIIIIIG bite and thought, “Shit. I’m not supposed to eat meat today.” I was torn. If I saved it, would it be edible tomorrow? I ended up only eating about half of it, because wasting food is probably a bigger sin, right?
4 hours of sleep leading into 1.5 hours of strenuous working out followed by work usually does not produce that reaction.
But it’s sunny, mild with a bite in the air, baseball on the radio, basketball game tonight (!!!!!!!) and, holy crap - decent hair day.
Life. Is. Gooooooooooood.
Universe, please note: I am aware that the odds are against things staying this way, but even though I know it could all change at any second, I’m extremely grateful for the way I feel right now. Just for the record.
All mine.
On a related note, did I hear something on Sportscenter just now about lingerie being thrown on the court? Or am I hearing things? (Yeah, that’s how my mind works. And I love it.)
I grew up w/ parents who stopped drinking alcohol entirely when I was too young to even remember. But I kinda hope that if I ever have kids, we can drink together, after they’re 21 of course. It seems like it would be fun.
Must’ve been the Bachelor/Britney Spears video I posted. No offense, but it was totally worth it.
it was SO worth it, and theres a chance it got me hot and bothered too!
UPDATE: Make it 5 lost followers. I’d say y’all are really hatin on pop culture today, but my dashboard was inundated with OMG REAL HOUSEWIVES! this morning so it must be Mr. Bachelor, b/c don’t even tell me you don’t get up out your seat when “Womanizer” comes on. Also, the Chuck Bass Womanizer montage was reblogged 50 million times. Jason haters.
Losing somebody in your life that you know needs to be cut out for good is a weird feeling. I feel so much freer, happier, anxious, and more excited about what the future holds. Every guy in my life has taught me something (not to be cliche) and showed me one more mandate to add to the list of things I need in a partner. It seems to me too that each new relationship I have, it only becomes more intense and meaningful. I never have settled down and taken on the girlfriend role unless I see something real and I’m not wasting either one of our time. Not worth it. Which is probably why the number of boyfriends I’ve had since age 16 is all of three. With a very large 3 1/2 year hiatus during college…until last fall, that is. But now that short lived 4 month whirlwind relationship where summer plans were made, traveling ideas were thrown back and forth, and conversations pertaining to the future were never scant, is over. All of this only leads me to believe that something even more moving and soul shaking is coming my way. More importantly, I’ve learned the importance of time. When I met him, I was never looking for a relationship. My schtick for all of college was to remain single. A free agent. I think that’s how life is supposed to work though. The saying things happen when you least expect it is the story of my life, at least. And I’m OK with that. For now, I’m listening to Hinder’s “Without You” on repeat and enjoying my newfound single lady status. Ring not necessary, thankyouverymuch.
Must’ve been the Bachelor/Britney Spears video I posted. No offense, but it was totally worth it.
To Whomever It May Concern;
I am someone who you will more than likely never meet. Or maybe you will. Life is a funny, unpredictable thing, it seems. But nonetheless, i want you to know that you are loved. Maybe you cannot see it right now, but you are. Or maybe you do know it, but cannot bring yourself to return that love. Whatever the case, you are truly blessed. We often take these things for granted and let them fly over our heads. I have been guilty of this lately and am trying harder to appreciate all that I have. I can get so caught up on the things that I am without, the ones who I have lost, and those who do not love me as I love them. But even in the midst of all that, I have so much to rejoice in. On my path which has brought me here, I have learned a great many things. One of these is that life is such a fragile creature. People who play a big part in your story one day can be ripped from its pages in a heartbeat. Count your blessings before they are gone.
This letter was written as a personal release, and I know that it will probably go unread. I can only hope that the wind delivers its words to places where they need to be. And to whoever does take the time to pick up a fragment of my mind’s wanderings; know that this place we inhabit is truly a beautiful, wonderful gift. Please cherish it and all of those who make it worthwhile.
Sincerely,
Mike
I’m a girl who loves Sex and the City and My Best Friends Wedding. I also love The Dark Knight and Reservoir Dogs (especially the part where his ear gets cut off). I love girly “beach books” like Devil Wears Prada, but I’m enjoying reading Watchmen a lot more and if you give me a John Grishman novel I would love you forever. I could watch What Not to Wear and Project Runway for a whole day but if UConn basketball or the Rangers are on I’ll choose that. If you make me angry I will punch you (seriously, I will) but I will also cry and whine like a 5 year old if I fall down and get hurt. I want to fall in love and be taken care of but I’m also petrified of commitment and love my independence. I’m so complicated.
If it said Maryland basketball and USC football, I would totally think I wrote this.
I’m happy and impressed and really, truly grateful that even after everything I’ve gone through emotionally in the last few years, I can still be giddy about things like cute boys and excited by all the possibilities for the future I haven’t even dreamed of yet. I also feel so blessed and appreciative that I have such wonderful girlfriends with whom I can gab, gossip, and consort.
And what song was stuck in my head as I had that first realization? The Pussycat Dolls, “Damaged.” Yep.
Story of my life.
I just happened to come across a post on my blog from about a year ago that I thought had been deleted long, long ago because it caused all kinds of misunderstandings and drama in my personal life.
At the time, I didn’t think it was a big deal at all, just a silly post that meant nothing and was that really so hard to understand?? (Obvs yes.) Rereading it this morning, I finally saw that maybe I’m the one who didn’t understand. In my mind, it was something I concocted based on a true story but with an almost entirely fabricated script. To someone with a different perspective but with personal ties to the things I typed, it was harsh. Out-of-the-blue. Hurtful. Not unlike many of the things that transpired in real life as a reaction to this one post.
Thinking about the entire situation, I see so many lessons about honesty and communication and consideration and open-mindedness and forgiveness and putting oneself in another’s shoes that I failed to learn at the time. (Not that I’m the only one who screwed up on that account, but at least I’ve started to see it now.)
It wasn’t the first time I’ve written something that played to a certain audience more than it represented me and what I really thought. It wasn’t the first time I responded with an “I do what I want” and a lame excuse about how it wasn’t really true, even if, in fact, it wasn’t really true. But in the past, really the only person I hurt was myself.
I wish I could apologize in this case. My first instinct was to shoot off an email that said “You know, you were right. I’m sorry.” I suppose I could, but at this point, it’s probably better to just let it go and try not to make the same mistake again.
