November 2009
A Good Partner.
- Roy: I know times have changed, but a man is still a man. And you deserve to have your wife respect you.
- Tom: She respects me plenty Roy.
- Here's the thing you have to understand about Lynette. She grew up without her Dad. Her mom was a drinker so she had to be responsible for everyone.
- Roy: Well, that's rough.
- Tom: Yeah. It left her with this constant fear that everything could suddenly fall apart. And that's why she needs to control everything. Of course she can't, no body can, but she can control me. If I let her. So I do. Because it makes her feel safe. And that is my job as her husband. To make her feel safe.
- Roy: You're a good man Scavo.
- Tom: I try.
10 Things You Don't Know About Women
1. We always notice your shoes. Not because we’re judging your size by theirs (although there is some merit to that) but because we’re wary of anything adorned with buckles, tassels, or faux leather stripes.
2. When we say, “Just tell me the truth. I won’t get mad,” we’re totally lying.
3. If you won’t hold our hands in public, we won’t blow you in private.
4. Yes, we would sleep with your best friend.
5. And yes, we too are afraid you’re going to lose your hair.
6. Cologne is for frat boys. Showers are for men.
7. If you’re dating a woman over thirty, she will have envisioned your wedding halfway through the first date — even if it’s going horribly.
8. Don’t be a pussy: A text message, e-mail, or instant message does not replace a phone call.
9. Nothing is less sexy than a man who counts his carbs. Skip the gym and work it out in bed.
10. If I have to ask for it, go fuck yourself.
—
I have to say, I agree with most of these. Not seven. But that’s because I’m only 20.
Men, it’s true - pay attention to your shoes because we do.
“Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today.”
—
Mark Twain
Happy birthday, Mr. Twain. You quotatious man.
(via mascarah)
SportsinStilettos.com →
sportsinstilettos.com
Hey y’all!
I’m in the process of starting a new sports-centered website, which is still in the very early stages but can be found at SportsinStilettos.com.
So for those of you who enjoy hearing my snarky comments on current sports stories, or reading sports-related quotes, or just ogling hot athletes (you know you love me), SportsinStilettos is where you’ll find all that from now on.
You can also follow me on Twitter: @SportsStilettos
No worries - those of you who only stop by for sequins, cupcakes and puppies will still find that here.
“
“What if I had a booth on the street and I said, ‘Attention, everybody who hates me: If you have a problem with me, I’m ready to hear your gripes! ….I will only be speaking to people who do not like me. Come out and let me have it. I will not speak back.’
…
“How many people do you think would be standing there? I’m talking about people getting the chance to tell me directly, ‘I think you’re a douchebag.’ You know how many people would do it? Ze-ro.”
” —John Mayer (via meredithnyc)
I really like John Mayer. I do not apologize for this.
(via elizabethanne)
100 Delicious, Dirt-Cheap Recipes for the Starving Student →
onlinecollege.org
(via lickystickypickyme)
I’m not a student but I like cheap, easy recipes. Although a quick glance reveals they all call for more kitchen staples than I usually have in my house.
“don’t let holidays and special events ruin everything [you’ve] worked so hard for. and don’t let [your] pursuit to live healthier ruin holidays and special events.”
—rule #72 - have your cake (via outofhabit)
I felt not-so-great (feverish, congested, like my eyelids were sandbags) all day, so I opted to come home and eat something (I skipped lunch due to rain and it being almost the end of the day when I finally got hungry) instead of going to the pool like I originally planned. Of course, I feel much better now. And I technically have time, even if I’m still drrrrraaaaaaaagggggggginggggg. But my full, satisfied tummy doesn’t want to wear a bathing suit.
“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin,
but I am not the devil. I am just
a small girl in a big world trying to
find someone to love.” —
but I am not the devil. I am just
a small girl in a big world trying to
find someone to love.” —
Marilyn Monroe
truth
(via kari-shma)
“The Southern idea of a gentleman is a man who, if a lady falls down drunk, will pick her up off the floor and freshen up her drink. You practically have to be on the list for your second liver before a Southerner notices you drink too much.”
—
(via dcwhip)
why I date southern men.
(via bowlingalleylawyer)
“I’m glad I don’t have a twin. I like being my own person. I’d hate to be one half of a zygote cell or whatever walking around.”
—
I Duct-Taped My Freezer Shut So I'd Stop Eating Ice Cream Straight From the Container
So far (since lunch!) it’s worked : )
Remember 18 months ago?
When you had never even heard of Sarah Palin, Robert Pattinson, or Lady GaGa?
Weren’t those the days?
18 months ago the Ravens still had Matt Stover. Yup, those were the days.
Yeaaaaaaa Ravens
- ESPN Guy #1: Dawan Landry takin' it back 48 yards to the hizzy.
- ESPN Guy #2: Dude, just say "house."
“I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn’t know you had inside you. And it doesn’t matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends… you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he’ll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you’ll go somewhere new. And you’ll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.”
—
Iris, The Holiday (via kari-shma)
This is seriously one of the most heartbreaking & relatable movie monologues I’ve ever seen. Gets me every time.
“There is always that one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of those lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real — but you create the context. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.”
—
C. Klosterman (via caryrandolph)
I think I probably posted this before…..
“
You try being imprisoned to the whims of a parasite for nine months and see how you like it.
I’d also love to know why it’s OK for me to take Robitussin for the swine flu I got, but not a drop of alcohol. Whatever, gang.
” —Jezebel commenter redqueenmeg
Pay close attention to that first line. You know, the one that’s exactly the reason I’m too selfish for mommyhood. All you glowy, beautiful pregnant women who say you’ve never been happier? I’m on to you.
Drinking While Pregnant: How Much Is Too Much? - Pregnancy - Jezebel
Male mid-life crisis blah blah blah. →
marieclaire.com
Besides the many, many ways in which this article is offensive to men, women, and anyone with a brain, this sentence stood out to me:
Outside the office, these women use their type A careerist energy to become multitasking machines—they run the board of their favorite charities, challenge their men on the ski slopes, have a healthy post-Cosmo attitude toward threesomes, decorate to Martha Stewart’s standards, make steak chili on game day, and, while dishing it out, present a solid case for why the Steelers should go for it at fourth and one.
Ladies, in order to be the perfect female, not only do you have to be professionally and physically successful, but you also have to be knowledgeable about football and have a healthy attitude towards threesomes. That one phrase caused INTENSE anger in me. Because you know, if you’re not interested in having another person in your bedroom, obviously you are UNhealthy and something is seriously wrong with you. Forget freedom of choice and making your own decisions about your own body, you big prude. Of course, that third party will be a female, preferably one your guy is attracted to, preferably one of your good friends.
All this from a women’s magazine. Barf. -M
This article pissed me off.
Why are so many modern women doing all of the things listed above? Because society, through publications like this one, make us feel we have to. It’s the only way to be successful, to be happy, to snag & keep the perfect man who will give us the perfect babies to complete our perfect lives (because of course that’s what we all want, right?)
We are, to paraphrase Ginger Rogers, doing everything men do, backwards and in high heels, which we pay for ourselves, thank you very much. And then we come home and make dinner for spoiled men who don’t appreciate it.
This article is about “30-something guys” but here, they all come off as whiny, spoiled brats. “This crew feels entitled to fun; sacrifice is not in their vocab,” it says.
I say you’re in your mid-30s? Grow the eff up. Everything is not about you, even if the fabulous, well-rounded woman in your life treats you like it is. You know, the one who “offers a financial safety net, the patient acceptance of his neuroses, and blow jobs in equal measure.” If you have a partner like that, and you don’t appreciate her, you don’t deserve her.
And according to this piece, that’s ok, because this version of the male mid-life crisis (almost more of an early-life crisis, given the age & stage of life at which it occurs but whatever) “stems from trying to keep up with a woman who may not need him at all.”
You know why that woman might not need you at all? Because you’re self-centered, spoiled, shady excuse for a man-child who can’t appreciate a good thing when he sees it, and no self-sufficient woman in her right mind needs to put up with that. This piece doesn’t make it seem like it, but I’m hopeful that there are guys out there who aren’t wishy-washy losers who have nothing valuable to contribute to their relationships or to modern society.
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