Thrown with Great Force

I just read my own palm (I had help!) and discovered I don’t have a marriage line. It bothers me a little. 

Little lines coming up from your love line indicate happiness/content with your love life and relationships, while lines that drop down indicate significant disappointments. I a few tiny lines pointing up early on, and I have one deep little line dropping down. Not so surprising?

“I have labelled myself as an anti-feminist feminist, and I think it suits me well. The whole female thing is very important to me of course, but then again it’s just as important as the fact that I have two legs and that I come from Iceland. It’s just one of those things. I see so many women constantly questioning themselves. Questioning why they do certain things. There’s this endless analytical process. What they don’t understand is that the main reason men have the free dom to do what they want, and get away with it, is that they don’t question themselves, they just do it. Women should stop doubting themselves because it cages them in and ties them down. They should just do what they want. Don’t take so much shit. If someone tries to make you feel guilty or intimidated, look them straight in the eye and laugh and they’ll probably start to cough in embarrassment. I’d much rather forget what I am, because at the end of the day, at the end of my life, I want to be happy with what I did in it, what I was in it. It doesn’t matter for shit whether I was a boy or a girl. That’s not the point.”

Bjork, Winter Oyster 1995, via antoinetta 

tryingtoforget:

finding a way to be closer is all but impossible

but we tear at each other still.

always trying.

duckie:

Feeling better. At first, I admit, I felt pretty pathetic. Here I was, feeling sad all over again when I had been well on my way to recovery. Why was I crying over this asshole? It seemed absurd. And then, it came to me. I EARNED these tears. Why am I upset over this betrayal when he’s clearly moved on to some other, I’m sorry to say, foolish girl? Because I’m pathetic? No. Because I was LOYAL. Because instead of slowly withdrawing from my relationship without letting him know about it, I was IN it. I was there, I was committed. I was honest.

So, yes. It sucks that I’m still getting over the person who so easily discarded me and then offered nothing more than, “I’m putting my life back together; I hope you can do the same.” It sucks more than I want it to. It hurts more than I want it to. But all this proves, is that I’m brave enough and self-aware enough to laugh when I’m happy, and to say when I’m not. Before I’m so over the relationship that I feel ready to jump into another one a week and a half later. I’m emotionally mature enough to own my pain and recognize that diving into another committed relationship less than two weeks later is probably not the healthiest way to recover from heartache. I’ll serve my time, because my heartache was well-earned. So I’ll cry my tears, and then, I’ll move on knowing that my deportment hasn’t left half of my friends feeling ashamed of the person I’ve become.

peterwknox:

At 23 I may not be or feel “mature” but the biggest progress I’ve made in my life, and what I see many other people around me (of all ages) struggling with, is realizing that I can control how things out of my control affect me.

Like most breakthroughs, it’s a simple concept but very difficult in practice. As a baby we’re conditioned to react to things outside of our control by crying until someone else fixes them. This “do nothing but cry” philosophy, carries on through childhood and adolescence as we’re told that because you can’t control everything you can’t control how it affects you. We have the structure of our families, our schools, our jobs, and our routines to fall back on. Things are relatively safe for us to try new things, get knocked down, and pick ourselves back up. For some, this carries on well past high school.

But many are soon outside this bubble of emotional protection. We’ve lived long enough that enough people have enough ways to really hurt us. They know us well enough to get at the core of things that really bother us, shake us up. People we once opened up to, cared about enough to care what they thought, and to whom we exposed our vulnerabilities, the soft underbellies of our emotional centers, will use all of it against us at points in life. This is reason alone to close up completely and never trust a human being again, but goes against our drive and desire to share in life and be loved.

What people don’t understand is that everything that happens in life, especially those things out of our control, can only affect us as much as we allow them to. Things varying from our office copier running out of staples to your once best friend sleeping with your ex-girlfriend. Yes, these things hurt. Yes, no one would ever think less of you for reacting with anger, depression, and frustration. But, that’s only if you let that get to you.

Some of us have been conditioned to this. We’ve learned to ignore the bullies, the online anonymous commentators, the bad reviews, the angry emails, the bothersome texts, the people that don’t want you happy, under the idea that to let them in would be to let them win, giving them the irksome attention they want (and deserve). But it’s another thing to brush it off your shoulders, take a deep breath, and focus on the things you’re interested in, not the things interested in you.

That quote, When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True Story, has more truth to it then we like to think. You are in control of how You react to things. Sure, some insults and harassment are going to give you a check to the gut, get under your skin immediately, and you’ll react on instinct. But it’s how you regain control of yourself and decide if you’ll let this derail you or you’ll stay the course.

I decided not too many months ago to focus on the positive things in my life that made me happy and to pay no attention to those trying to bring me down. Sure, shit comes up, and I can’t control that, but I can control how I’ll react to it. Basically: nothing is the end of the world and everything is going to be all right has been my philosophy. And so far, it’s come true. You just have to determine for yourself how deep you’ll let things dig into you and know when to stop caring, because once you realize this will only hurt you instead of help you, it becomes a lot easier to walk away. Block out the bad and focus on the good might not work for everything and everybody, but it’s a pretty damn good start.

jessicagoldharalson:

I’m taking a page from Tumblr’s own Marie Antoinette and starting a self-imposed three day juice fast. I know the feminist thing to do is be all Chub Pride and shiz, but having thighs that rub together when you walk AIN’T SEXAY.

And now you know more about me than you wanted to know.

 Sweeeet now I don’t feel so bad/vain for my green/ginger tea (unsweetened of course) fast yesterday. It only lasted one day, and yes, I made an exception for two handfuls of cereal (morning and night) and a little fruit b/c I was STAAAARVING but after all the party food this weekend, I think I had plenty of calories stored away. And lemme tell ya, that detox did me good. I feel fabulous this morning : )

Blogging.
Love.
As jakobandjulia can attest, it’s probably not the best combination.
But as parallel ventures, they’ve got a lot in common.

Both are all about exposure, putting yourself out there.
And exposure, and putting yourself out there, means taking a risk.
Risking your reputation, risking your emotions, on something, or someone, that might but probably won’t pay you back.

Online and in love, you have to choose how much of yourself to share. What image are you choosing to present? What is necessary or relevant or even appropriate for other people to know about you? Where do you draw the line?

 Online and in love, anything you post, say, or otherwise express might not be how you actually feel. It might be constructed for someone else’s benefit, or to someone else’s detriment. It might only be part of the story. It might not be what you wanted to say, or what you would say if you stopped to think about it first. It might hurt someone. That someone might be you.

But in both cases, it’s hard to stop. You know posting something or screwing someone is probably going to cause problems or make things worse, but you do it anyway. You get burned, you get attacked in comments, but you keep going back, you keep posting. It’s addictive. It’s a masochistic, self-destructive cycle. More and more, it’s part of our lives.

tumblinas:

One of my biggest fears is building a life with the guy who says “we” until you leave the room, and then starts using “I.”

sarahchristine:

The first irrational crying jag in front of your boyfriend is always an interesting experience. The way a man handles his girlfriend having a bad day and watching her tear up/laugh and cry at the same time is a good indicator of how good a person he is. MM passed with flying colors (feel sorry for the guy, I’m a handful) and I’m blaming the time of the month.

Tips: never, ever tell a woman to just calm down when she’s crying and never, ever act like she’s overreacting. She’s crying for a reason, let her have her moment — just be sweet.