December 2007
I have strep throat. Boo.
Slick Santa
Me: Where did you get him?
Mom: Home Depot. Dad usually buys Santas but I thought he was cute.
Me: He looks slick.
Mom: Slick?
Me: Is he slick?
Mom: Slick like used car salesman slick?
Me: No, slick like his outer coating.
My sister: [laughs hysterically during a very depressing point in the documentary Plant Earth]
Mom: Yes, I think his outer coating is slick, shiny.
Bowl Season Blahs →
...Finally
Three hours later, my sister informs me that “skelt” has been defined. Apparently it’s my grandmother’s slang for “skeleton.” Who knew.
Can anyone tell me what a skelt is?
My uncle: Did you get an answer to your question?
My cousin: What question?
My uncle: What a skelt is?
My cousin: Oh, no.
Me: I thought it was "skelp."
My uncle: No, it was skelt.
My cousin: But what is it?
My uncle: I have no idea.
“Look at Alex. He wouldn’t wear it at first. He was being a nerd.”
– My grandmother, about my uncle who didn’t want to wear a pirate bandanna on their Disney cruise
My aunt, about a photo of my grandmother on a recent cruise: Look at you with that thing on your head!
Gran: I look like a skelt!
My cousin, my sister and I: [giggling hysterically] What's a skelt??
12:30 a.m. Christmas, still wrapping gifts
My sister: Hey, take it easy on the tissue paper. I'm trying to save the polar bears.
Me: They make tissue paper from polar bears?
Her: [Literally falls over laughing hysterically]
Me: What??
Her: [Still laughing] Did you just say that?
Me: [Also laughing] What did you say?
Peace on Earth. Good Make-up for All.
Is it a little bit inappropriate to break open my new Too Faced “Party Girl” eye make-up for Christmas Eve mass? …Too late. Although I must say it’s less scandalous than the time I wore fishnets and a sparkly top (and looked almost Church-classy anyway). At least I fought temptation and saved my sparkly “Naughty and Nice” panties for Christmas Day (would going...
“Life is short; your skirt should be, too.”
– Kristopher Dukes for TopButton.com
“I like the way the colors in my eyes look brighter when I cry”
“I hate it when I write things and people read it and come away with something...”
With Regrets, New Orleans is Left Behind →
Merry Christmas?
Driving back from the gym this morning, the announcers on the radio were discussing a new Christmas gift idea: the medical gift card. Apparently you can fill it up and give it to someone to use on prescriptions, co-pays, etc. The radio people were a little confounded, or at least weirded out, by it, all “Nothing says Merry Christmas like a medical gift card.” One girl asked, “If...
It's Not Just Me...
I wonder if “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” exist primarily to serve outsiders’ need to have a complete gossip-understanding of your life. OLD: Kevin: “So what’s up, Dan? Are you still dating Katie?” Dan: “Well, she’s sort my girlfriend, I mean, we’re in an open relationship… we’re sort of lovers, kind of date-friends, I...
Books I Want to Read
A Man Without a Country Kurt Vonnegut The Age of Innocence Edith Wharton Alice: From White House Princess to Washington Power Broker Stacy A. Cordery American Creation: Triumphs and Tragedies at the Founding of the Republic Joseph J. Ellis Service Included: Four-Star Secrets of an Eavesdropping Waiter Phoebe Damrosch Boom! Voices of the Sixties Tom Brokaw Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret...
Favorite Things Part One
Things I Like: Peanut butter and jelly, gift cards, skull and cross-bones band-aids, black mascara, good surprises Things I Don’t Like: Bacon, Christmas and birthday shopping, shipping charges, telephone poles, being hungry, bad surprises
I Hate Christmas Shopping!
I spent a marathon shopping day (6.5 hours) at the mall, and I spent quality time wandering around Philadelphia where there are actually some great shops, and the whole buying gifts for other people thing really isn’t working out so well. Current totals…. Stuff for other people = $150 (all other people combined) Stuff for me = $206 (just about all of which I do not need…this...
“I don’t want to screw up this marriage even more than I want some pot...”
– Liz, from Gilmore Girls season 4, “Last Week Fights, This Week Tights”
So once upon a time it was my dream to have a little martian/oompa loompa thing follow me around with lattes so I’d always have one whenever I needed it (once upon a time as in like every day for the last two years). You know, my own little coffee minion. Well, according to The Today Show today, a robot has been developed that can MAKE COFFEE. It’s so cute too! Anyone wanna take a...
Ew.
When you’re online window shopping at literally zillions of stores and the ONE THING that’s sold out is a hot pink terry romper (think strapless bath towel with shorts), then all is definitely NOT right in the world. That is all.
Psychology Today: Ten Politically Incorrect Truths... →
So human nature…basically, it’s all about sex. *sigh*
I am. So over. Bad coffee. And I’m pretty much done with snow so, you know, feel free to melt any time now. The end.
And the Heisman Goes to....? →
“The world changes when it snows. It’s quiet. Everything softens.”
– Lorelei Gilmore, Love and War and Snow, Season 1, Episode 8
Gilmore Girls Love Snow
Michel: You do know that not everyone finds the idea of being pelted with frozen water appealing.
Lorelei: I know, and how sad for them.
Michel: The thrilling sensation of getting lost in a blizzard, of freezing to death in the woods and having to eat your friend's buttocks to stay alive: that is lost on many people.
“The first fall of snow is not only an event; it is a magical event”
Everybody Else Is Doing It....
I’m not sure about this blog. I found tumblr through Peter W Knox and then found a ton more and decided I wanted one, too. But I already have a blog. I also have a tendency to say/type things I should keep to myself or don’t really mean. For some reason, I can be an extremely guarded person in real life but online, not so much (at least not as much as I should be). So this blog could...
Holiday Cheer →